Poison

 I chose my own poison,

I knew it all along,

That's why I was guarded,

That's why I wouldn't give it all,

Oh! But I have cried a river,

And burnt all the bridges down,

But darling, Now I am unreachable.

I chose my own poison,

And I knew it all along, 

That Chaos doesn't harm,

Its my calmness that's worst than my storm.

Void

In the middle of a perfectly happy day,

I feel it, 

I feel it creeping up to me,

I feel its claws marking my soul,

I feel the uneasiness, 

I feel the gaping hole in my chest again,

And I have this desperate urge to fill it,

To fill this void,

Sometimes with meaningless conversations with strangers, 

Sometimes with the world between my favorite pages, 

Sometimes with the music on soo damn loud that it can dull the pain. 

In the middle of a perfectly happy day,

Sometimes I feel like my world is falling apart.

Memories

 I do not know what to ponder upon.

I have vague memories of you.

Memories of running around in circles around you,

Memories of walking in your steps,

Memories of holding your hand,

Memories of being your ardent fan,

Memories of writing you a million letters, not knowing if you would ever read them.

Memories of waiting to meet you someday,

Memories of a little girl, 

Memories soo vague that I am not entirely sure they were real. 

My only regret is, I do not know what to ponder upon, because I have no memories of you that are completely true.

I hoped

 

I hoped to run into you,

Run into you in a crowded street, 

Run into you in a different city,

Run into you in a different country, 

I hoped to see the flicker of recognition in your eyes,

I hoped you would see the adoration in mine,

I hoped for years of agony to fade,

I hoped for a day when we would be us again,

And I hoped, 

I hoped for an alternate universe. 

To the love of my life

 I did not fall in love with you,

Definitely not at first sight,

It was the way you looked at me, 

It was your eyes,

Those melted pools of chocolate held a promise of a love soo deep that i was sure it would consume us both. 

It was the calmness of my heart around you, the warmth seeping from yours into mine. 

It was when you loved me for all the parts of me that made sense to you and even more for the parts that didn't. 

I did not fall in love with you,

Not at first, not somewhere in between, not yet.

I gloriously walked into Love with You.

Someone

 Someone once told me that I wasn't capable of having my heart broken.

That my walls were build soo high, 

That I guarded my heart with fierceness,

That I would never experience the sheer intensity of being soul deep in love,

That I was afraid to take the leap,

Someone once told me that I wasn't capable of loving and in return being loved.

Love Me

 

They say you expect the love 

you think you deserve.

Well, if you ask me , I think I deserve the moon and the stars and everything in between.

But do you think I deserve that? 

Magical nights dancing under the moonlit sky? Confessions of love under the arbor filled with my favorite flowers? Emeralds that 

match the color of my eyes? 

I say love me,

Love me only if you think I deserve 

To be loved on days 

when you think its the hardest to 

love me .

The Sign

 She was always looking for signs,

It was the way he looked at her, and then he didn't, 

It was the way her laughter made him laugh, and then it didn't,

It was the way he held her close enough to never let go, and then he didn't, 

It was the way he wanted to make her feel special, and then he didn't, 

It was the way he loved, he cared, he longed, he desired, and then he didn't, 

It was then she realized, 

That maybe looking for the signs was

the sign.

STOP

 Its funny, how we hold on to relationships, how we place their happiness above ours, why do we drag relationships, why can't we end them while we still can? Why can't we stop? Why can't we stop overthinking, trying, expecting, struggling, obsessing, over loving? 

Why can't we stop breaking our own hearts? 

I Dare You.

Unlove the way my lips feel pressed against yours,

Unlove the way I fit perfectly in your arms, 

Unlove the times you watched me fall asleep,

Unlove the mornings you woke up to me feeling

complete,

Unlove the way my smile makes you crazy, 

Unlove the way my eyes make you feel dreamy,

Unlove the way my heart touches your soul,

Unlove me, I dare you. 

HOME

Maybe he was the one that got all of you,

Maybe he was the one that made you reckless and out of control,
Maybe he was the one that gave you sleepless nights filled with magic,
Maybe he was the one that got under your skin and made you unsteady,
Maybe he was the one who said all the right things and did them too,
Maybe he was the one who crosses your mind when you are under a starlight sky,
Maybe he was the one that you remember on a cozy night,

Maybe he was the one who made you believe in all the love songs,

Maybe he was the one who made you feel like a Christmas wish, 
Maybe he was your first, your last and your ever,
Maybe he was the one,

Maybe he was what your heart really called Home. 

SHE

The promise of beauty was molded into every line and feature of her face. She was destined to be more exotic than fragile, more wilderness and less serene. She had eyes that sparkled more with laughter and less modesty. She was more stubborn and less docile. She was light, love and power. She was the amber pit of nostalgia. She was more petals than thorns. She was more chaos than calm. She was vintage, She was fire, She was grace. She was some magic and a bit of poetry too. She was everything that was and everything that was yet to be. 

She was YOU.

Mosaic Of Love

              

                  Mosaic of Love 

Humans, so quick to judge so reluctant to love. Humans, who pride themselves on being Independent Individuals. Humans, who live in plausible deniability. 

Are we really our own Individuals? I don't think so. Humans are complex individuals made up of light and love, of experiences and adventures, of sadness and sorrow, of choices and mistakes. 

Who am I ? If you ask me, I am not whole, I am bits and pieces of my daughters laughter, I am scattered splinters of my mothers heart , I am my fathers generosity, I am my sisters courage, I am my best friends kindness, I am my husband's love. 

Who am I? If you ask me, 

I am a Mosaic of everyone who loves me and everyone who I have loved even for a heartbeat ❤